Tomorrow is the big day! Second opinion day!!!! I can't tell if I'm excited or scared out of my mind....I do feel like I'm cheating on my oncologist though. Don't get me wrong, I love my oncologist to death, he's amazing and so is his staff....so why would I want to consider leaving???
This time around I have decided to take control of this cancer crap...I'm not going to do what they want me to do without asking questions. I'm not going to settle for, "this is the only way" and I'm not going to believe every little thing they say. I am going to ask questions (about a million, so I hope new doctor gets some rest tonight), I am going to research other options and alternative treatments AND I'm going to believe only what I want to believe. Cancer, like most diseases, makes you feel completely powerless. It's really bad with cancer because there is no cure. We know that everything they try is like a game of horseshoes...you may get exactly where you need to be and win the game, or you could completely miss and lose. Well I'll tell you what, if I have anything to do with it...we aint losing....so TAKE THAT you cancerous pieces of crap (I so wish they were human so I could gather a couple of friends and fight them).
I spent most of last week researching doctors and trying to find one that might be a good fit. I was leaning toward some kind of cancer center because...well....they're cancer centers and it just makes sense! So I went to the Cancer Centers of Georgia website and I loved it. I found a doctor who received his med degree and completed his residency at Duke (their cancer research is DA BOMB), he's published, he participates in ongoing research, and (this one is my fave) he specializes in colon cancer. When I made the appointment last week, his nurse wanted my medical records faxed over immediately because he likes to take 2 or 3 days before he sees new patients to review their history. He also likes to take no less than an hour with every new patient he sees. All of this made me feel extremely confident that he may be the dude....so why am I so anxious and nervous?? I mean it's not like it can get any worse than it was last week, I freaking blacked out in the middle of a conversation....and threw up shortly after. I guess there's always that thought in the back of your mind whispering ever so softly, "what if he says you have a month to live????" Now, I know...in my heart, that's not the case...but that still doesn't make it any easier, and that devilish whisper still tries to make it's way into my subconscious every once in a while......nothing a little prayer and Fred Hammond can't fix :o)
So come on people!! Send some positive energy and prayers my way!!!
BY THE WAY, YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!! WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU'RE IN THIS FIGHT WITH ME....SO HA!!!!
Stay tuned for Pt. 2 :o)
~Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and receives the impossible~