If I had a dollar for every time someone said, "but you're so young!", I'd be rich. Everybody knows someone who has, or has had cancer. It's everywhere, you can't walk down the street or turn on the TV without hearing or seeing something that has to do with it. So why is it that we think it'll never happen to us??? Seriously, why is that? I was definitely one of those people.....until I was diagnosed with it....June 12, 2009.... The very first thing that came to my mind (after I freaked out of course!) was, "Colon cancer?!?! but I'm twenty-freakin-eight years old!!!!" The more and more research I did the more I realized that cancer is a jerk, it couldn't care less how old you are. So there I was, 28 yrs old, with colon cancer....now what?!?! My first little freak-out aside, I think I handled the situation pretty awesomely!!! Got the diagnosis on the 12th, had surgery on the 19th, cancer-free on the 23rd...and all this with only 2 breakdowns!! (how's that for coping Aunt Jean?!?!?!?)
Okaaaaaayyyyy, now there I was, 28 yrs old, and a cancer survivor...now what?!?!?!? I spent a lot of time reflecting, journaling, and appreciating all the things we take for granted. It was awesome, it was almost as if cancer had given me a gift (even though I kicked it's a**!!). As time went on, worry started building up inside of me....cancer sometimes has the tendency to come back right? and its always worse if it comes back, right? what if mine comes back? what if mine comes back in the middle of the school year? WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT IF?!?!?!?!?!?
Sheryl Crow said it best, "....the bottom line is, even though the cancer may go away, knowing that you had cancer doesn't. The fear of it coming back doesn't go away, either."
With cancer, comes a lifetime of what I like to call, "quality checks". Colonoscopy once a year, MRI every 6 months, blood work every 3-6 months. I've gotten so familiar with all this, I could probably give myself a MRI while taking a blood sample.....under anesthesia. So imagine my surprise when, almost a year to THE DAY, my oncologist calls and says my most recent MRI showed 2 legions on my liver and I have to come in for more tests. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS DUDE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? (I'm gonna take this time to shout out Gwinnett Medical, you're like the second home I wish I could sell) So they run test after test AFTER test and can't come up with anything because the lesions are too small. My oncologist (whom I ADORE!) talked to a radiologist and they decided that a biopsy would be the best bet (apparently this dude can get a tissue sample from an amoeba), so that's where I spent my day last Wed....which brings us to today, results day. The second my oncologist (lets call him Dr. H) said, "Let's go in my office, it'll be more comfy there", my heart dropped to my feet like a ton of bricks. On the short walk to his office, I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I knew he was going to say. Once we sat down and he began talking, I quickly realized there is NO WAY to prepare yourself for what he said.....but enough for now, I'll get into that tomorrow :o)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;