Chemo...it's what's for breakfast :o)

So, I am currently sitting in the "infusion room" (guess "chemo room" is too much) and I'm happy to say, it's not NEARLY as bad I thought.  I mean, the needle in the port thing was a little weird but, that's about the extent of excitement. The nurses here are great, and everyone seems to treat the experience like you're in a spa instead of getting cancer treatment.  I am sitting in the most comfortable recliner in the world with a blanket and fuzzy socks....and to top that all off, there's a volunteer (probably the sweetest lady in the world) who just walks around making sure everyone is OK and hands you juice, tea, ice chips, crackers, anything you need.....you can have whatever you like (in my best T.I. voice) and, to top that all off, every once in a while she just walks by, smiles, and pats your feet :o)

gotta make fun yourself :o)

So, I guess the hard part is over, I got the first one over with (not completely, still have 3 1/2 hours left).  After I go home with the pump, it's a "wait and see" game.  There's a list about a mile long full of possible side effects, and I have no clue which ones I may or may not get.  That part is definitely stirring up a little anxiety.  If there's one thing that drives me crazy, it's not knowing.  I have to know what's going to happen, and I can't stand waiting around for things to maybe happen. I'm realizing that I need to work on that because in this crappy cancer world....there's A LOT of "let's just wait and see".
Those of you who know me well, know that psychology is my first love (I was a psych major...a couple times!) and because of that, people watching is one of my favorite things to do.  That's a little difficult (but so interesting) here in the "infusion room".  Just at first glance, you can see that there is everything on the cancer spectrum represented here.  There are some people who are extremely upbeat and positive (me!), and there are also those who seem mad at the world and extremely negative (the lady who was just beside me).  She spent the last hour complaining about the drugs, the cancer, her life, her kids, her mother-in-law, and her cat (yes, her cat).  Don't get me wrong, venting is something that has to be done in order to cope with things but, JEEEEEEEEZZZZZ lady!! How about you NOT tell me how horrible chemo is right after I tell you it's my first time! AND STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE!!! It may actually help...it's like I always say, “Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." (Yea, I don't say that...that's a quote from Bernice Johnson Reagon...sounds good though!)

(Time lapse 11:30 am-7:46 pm)



staring at the port in the car wondering what to do with it...



OK, I'm home now and it's been a super weird past couple of hours. The treatment process went as well as it could've gone and all my labs look good. Dr. Duke said, "I'm really pleased with our progress".....Are those the words you wanna hear from your oncologist or what?!?!?!? The explanation of the port and some of the meds I'll be taking was a tad bit confusing....I thank God everyday that I have a perfectionist mother who refuses to miss something!!! If I didn't, I would have already mixed the wrong meds and be twitching and temporarily paralyzed, accidentally ripped my port out, and reached into the fridge!! She's MY hero....for realz :o) Speaking of reaching into the fridge, (if you don't know about this AMAZING side effect, see the blog before this one!) I of course went to open it and grab something cold but was stopped by a sign on the handle that says, "Ebony STOP!!!!" (Mom, of course!). That sign saved my ADD brain from putting my chemo body through some weirdness that none of us felt like dealing with!

I am definitely feeling like something is going on inside the good ole body...that's for sure.  Nothing too crazy has happened (Mom, you BETTER not tell anybody what happened in the store!!!!!!) and my plan is to keep it that way!  I guess, this isn't NEARLY as bad as having cancer so I don't have much to complain about :o) While I was sitting there, I started to wonder about how everyone else felt. There was a young woman there who looked pretty sick (which doesn't mean she was, could mean her cocktail mix is pretty hard core).  I found myself watching her smile, and joke with her friends and family and tell the nurse she was OK when I could tell by her face that she wasn't.  I watched her struggle, trying to get her frail body out of the chair and go to the bathroom, and then laugh hysterically when she almost fell.  I watched her and I decided that she was my new hero.  The strength of this woman dripped off of her like wax off of a candle and then...off into the atmosphere it went for all to latch on to :o) You could not only feel her strength, you feel the love from the 7-10 people that cycled in and out for about 5 hours.  It was truly amazing to watch. One thing I know, cancer will force you to find strength you didn't even know you had. The key is finding it, and not being afraid of it...because it along with your faith, will save your life...as well as your sanity. The scary thing is, I sometimes wonder how long this strength will last....

"If the enemy is not coming against you at some point in your life, that's a sign you're not headed anywhere"

~Pastor Laura Pickett

~Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.~

James1:2

~TRUST HIM~



a little port fun :o)

 Livestrong.com

Livestrong Day is October 2, go to the site for more info on what activities are happening around you :o) 

My Momma is the best!

~~UNRELATED INFO~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (9.23) TO THE BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, BROOKE KINDER (RAINEY)!!!!!! LOVE U MORE THAN HOT SAUCE :o)

CONGRATS TO MR. & MRS. HOOVER!! I WISH YOU GUYS ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD.... AND MRS. HOOVER (JUST HAD TO SAY IT!) I LOVE YOU DEARLY :o)