"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell." - Lance Armstrong
hospital shenanigans :o)
So yea, the cancer is back....and to be honest, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it!!! I mean, am I worried???? Absolutely not. I didn't worry the first 2 times, so there's no sense in worrying now. Am I mad??? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!! and I'm pretty sure it'll be a minute before I can tuck the anger away! CAN I AT LEAST HAVE A YEAR?!?!?!? ONE FULL CALENDAR YEAR WITHOUT CANCER?!?!?!? and why does it have to be this time of year?!?!? I was so looking forward to chemo free holidays....to not having to figure out the best weeks to take off to maximize my "feeling good days". Don't get me wrong, I am in no way trying to get you guys to feel sorry for me (if I was, is it working?!?!?), but this SUCKS and I had to get it out!!!! OK....I'm pretty sure I'm done venting (for now), so...moving on to the more upbeat part of the show :o)
I love my surgical team :o)
We left Dr. Duke with a plan....2 or 3 month chemo vacay, and then rescan to see where we are. Next step, call my other fave, Dr. S (5th surgery on me!!) and schedule surgery to get the dang port put back in. You know me, I generally get my way......so I had my port re-inserted the next day :o) Sooooooooo, I'm all ready to go! Port's in place, first infusion (sounds so official, doesn't it?!?!?) is scheduled for Nov 29 :o))))))) This time should be a lil different though. Dr. Duke is changing up the cocktail mix, so we don't really know how I'm gonna respond to the side effects. One of the drugs is pretty different so my hair is prob gonna go....which is the least of my worries! (Shyra, you got my back!) Good news is.....I GET TO FREAKIN WORK!!!!!!!!!! Since I'm working here, I'll be able to go in when I feel like it!!! You guys have NO IDEA how happy that makes me!! Those kids are my life (most days lol!!), and I'm sure that'll def brighten up those not so great days! Speaking of school....I have no words for how absolutely WONDERFUL the staff at Sycamore Elementary has been! It's honestly been overwhelming! They are all so supportive and understanding and caring and awesome and I freakin love them!!!! Dude...I was telling my EBD friends (not the kids, the teachers!) that I was starting my pre-chemo cleanse, and that it involves no sugar. Ok, they know how much I love sugar bc they see me go though 68 tootsie rolls everyday.....so, this morning, there was a bowl of fruit on my desk!! Not just any fruit....antioxidant cancer fighting fruit!!!! Made my day :o)))) There are seriously no words for how grateful I am.....you all are so amazing and I have absolutely no idea how I would've made it this far without you. So, THANK YOU...from the very bottom of my heart <3 Enough of the sappy stuff....ITS TIME TO SUIT UP! Chemo starts in 2 weeks....we made it through the first 2 times, the 3rd will be a breeze. I need yall with me though...all the thoughts, all the positive energy, all the prayers, all the jokes, and most importantly....all the socks (I will be continuing the sock tradition!) It means the world to me, so keep it coming :o) I have lots more to get off my chest, but I have to educate the youth in the morning, so....PEACE OUT!!!!
LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE :o)
~Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see~ Hebrews 11:1