~Celine Dion (Because You Loved Me)
So, I just wanna say this real quick before we begin......I. AM. OVER. CHEMO! Omg y'all, this has been the worst chemo cycle I have ever had!!! Today is the first day that I've felt somewhat normal since treatment....AND IT''S ALREADY TIME TO GO BACK!!! UGH!! Don't get me wrong, I know it's doing a good thing, and I know that it's necessary. I'm just not really feelin it currently. I've been talking to y'all for a while now, so I feel as if we're close enough for me to say just about anything.....to vent, if you will. So here's my venting for today: I AM SICK AND TIRED, OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!! I really feel like I'm gonna lose it sometimes. I miss my job, I miss regular clothes, I miss having stuff to do, I miss having conversations not involving canSer, I miss not having 330 medications to take everyday, I MISS MY LIFE. No worries though, I don't have any doubts that I wont get it back....I'm allowed to vent every once in a while danngit! I mean, I do have canSer lol!
So, what did you guys think of the last blog?!?!!?? I absolutely love hearing what everybody has to say! I didn't make this clear the last time, but anybody can write one. If you feel like you have something to say, by all means, write it, and shoot it to me in an email! I'd love to hear from you :o)
|22 yrs of awesomeness :o)|
|Brooke & Danny!|
~LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE~
~Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken~
Ebony and I met when we were nine years old and cheering for the same football team. I was clumsy and uncoordinated, whereas she was clearly athletic and all ready showing signs of that natural talent we have all watched develop into something extraordinary. For some reason, she took pity on me, and pulled me aside to help me learn the cheers and practice my jumps. That, or she realized how awful I was and didn't want to be embarrassed when we actually had an audience. Either way, Ebony showed her true character in the first interaction between us so many years ago- she took the time to use her gifts to help someone she didn't know, for no other reason than she inherently knew that it was the right thing to do. That's just who she is, how she was raised, the type of family that this is. To be honest, I don't remember my life before Ebony was in it. I'm serious, I've tried! But no matter how tightly I closed my eyes, or how hard I concentrated on those years before I called Ebony my best friend, I came up with nothing. It's as if we met, and the rest was history. Our lives became instantly intertwined in an incredible friendship that has truly helped to shape the person that I've become.
A few years ago, Ebony called me with news that rocked me to my core-she had cancer. CANCER?! Ebony? MY Ebony? No freaking way! Now, I'm going to be completely honest with you guys, because Eb asked me to, and this is her blog, her fight, her ultimate triumph. When she first told me this, I was angry, I was confused, but mostly I was just terrified. The overwhelming feeling of sheer terror that I might lose the best friend I have ever had literally took my breath away. I didn't tell Ebony any of this, because she, in true Ebony fashion, was too busy trying to keep ME from being upset to give me any indication of how she might be feeling about the situation. Throughout this entire ordeal, she has steadfastly remained optimistic and anchored by her faith, continuing to live her life on her own terms, and refusing to let this evil opponent control her or disrupt her life any more than she had to. She rarely complains, she is always smiling and laughing and trying to get those around her to do the same. She has put her complete faith in God to help heal her of this disease, and her spirituality has given her the peace to still be able to enjoy life, even when facing trials and tribulations that most of us will never understand. It has given her the strength to look this beast in the eyes twice, emerge victorious, and the tenacity to be right back there for a third go round, still with a smile on her face and a fight in her heart.
So, while at first, I'll admit, I was scared and furious with the world, having the opportunity to be by her side for so many of the small battles that she must fight every day has helped me to see that I am NOT afraid of cancer. Not anymore. I've seen what awesome power comes from faith, love and incredible courage. I have seen this amazing woman stand up to cancer, scare that bitch right back where she came came from, enjoy a few months off, then buck up and do it all again. Now here we are smack in the middle of round three, the toughest one yet, and ebony is still coming out with both arms swinging, as beautiful as ever, and continuing to touch lives wherever she goes. The round will go to Ebony as well, of this I am certain, because Ebony's job here on this earth is not finished. Not at all. In fact, it's only just begun. She has so much more in store for her, and I for one can not wait to see what else she will accomplish in her lifetime. She is destined for greatness, mark my words.
I truly feel that Ebony is my sister, in every way that matters, and I am so incredibly blessed to have her in my life. I don't think it was coincidence that we ended up on that football field together as little girls. I believe that someone had a hand in this, that we were brought together because our bond would help to heal her in some small way during this, the fight of her life. Watching her these past few years has changed me, has shown me so many things about life. Her grace and quiet resolve have been nothing short of awe-inspiring. I am amazed by her every day. Throughout these 22 years, I have come to call her family my own, and I truly feel that they are. Seeing them band together to lift Ebony in spirit and to tend to her every need has made me more honored than ever to be a part of this family. I have always admired them, felt unconditionally loved by them and been thankful to have them in my life, but now, seeing what I have seen, experiencing it first hand, has been overwhelming for me. Being a mother, I now truly understand the love you have for your child, and her parents are a shining example of exactly what a loving parent should be.
Ebony, I'm so proud of you, of who you've become and where you are going. You are my best friend, my sister, my partner in crime, but you are so much more. It's difficult for me to articulate how much you really mean to me, but I think you know. I believe our bond is so strong, that you have no doubt that there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for you. You are the funniest person I have ever met, you crack me up on a daily basis. You bring happiness with you wherever you go, chemo included! ( Shout out to my home girls at GCS!! <3) You are so incredibly special. You are a warrior princess, a soldier beyond compare and truly the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. I love you so very much, and want to thank you for allowing me to share this journey with you. I'm here every step of the way. RIDE OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you forever,
|chemo shenanigans with The Kinders!!!|
ITS COLON CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!!!!!!!!!
GET EDUCATED, GET SCREENED!!!!!!
WEEKEND, SHE CUT OFF 8IN OF HER HAIR AND DONATED IT TO LOCKS OF LOVE IN MY NAME.....KELLIE YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND YOUR SELFLESSNESS HAS MADE SOME KIDS DAY!!!!! THANK YOU, AND I LOVE YOU TO PIECES!!!!
2ND SCAN COMING UP ON THE 13TH!! JUST FYI :O)
LOVE U GUYS :O)
oh-if you comment (and please do, love reading them!), please put your name,,,,,,unless you're keeping it anonymous for a reason lol!